ernest frost
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Thoughts From My Couch
 
Trauma with a tale/tail
Because of the nature of my work and also the present context of the country we live in, trauma related problems seem to make up a bigger part of my daily pot mix. It was Virginia Satir - one of the amazing people who were modelled when NLP began in the 1970's who said: "Very often the presenting problem is not the problem or else there is more behind it which can be investigated." The truth of these words became evident when I worked with a client who was sent to me because of a traumatic house attack.
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Because of the nature of my work and also the present context of the country we live in, trauma related problems seem to make up a bigger part of my daily pot mix.  It was Virginia Satir - one of the amazing people who were modelled when NLP began in the 1970’s – who said: “Very often the presenting problem is not the problem or else there is more behind it which can be investigated.” The truth of these words became evident when I worked with a client who was sent to me because of a traumatic house attack.

He was in his early thirties and talking quite a lot with a nervous laugh every few seconds. Most trauma victims usually start by telling the story again which they possibly have told over and over and over. When I eventually got a gap, I posed the NLP question: What are we going to change for you today?  It caught him totally off guard. Moving from the gruesome details of the story to an outcome of being free of all of that, was quite a mind shift. I had to listen very closely to hear his almost whispering answer: “I want to feel worthy again.”

 

Men experiencing trauma, are often humiliated with their families present and that situation of being a helpless onlooker can be a very disturbing emasculating experience. I helped him to move from his head to his heart and feel those specific feelings again. For any healing to occur this is very significant because while only talking about the problem it is still very left brain orientated while the emotions and feelings are more right brain and body centred. The moment he felt it again there was a flood of tears and then he mentioned that it was the same experience he had six years ago when he was also attacked in his previous house. My unconscious mind hinted me to follow the trail and by asking a few specific questions and using his feelings of shock, shame and humiliation an amazing path unfolded.

 

Six years before the second attack he caught his wife in bed with his best friend and six years before that he was very badly injured in his last year of school when he was attacked by a bunch of guys who broke his jaw and evidently lost all his teeth. It was still the same theme: shame, shock and humiliation. Six years before that at the age of 12 he was badly shamed at sport when he was always the last to be chosen for the sports team which emphasizes his belief that he wasn’t really worth anything.

The SEE event (significant emotional event or also called the touchstone event or root cause) took us back another six years when he was only 6 years old. He could barely talk when this came up after so many years. He had hidden his sister’s hairbrush and his mother got so angry that she lost her temper and gave him such a sever hiding that he fell unconscious. For weeks after that he had to wear a big jersey to school to hide the bruises on his arms. Something in him died that day. He had no idea what has caused the outburst and never discussed it with his mother again. The boy of 6 years old adopted the belief that he was not worthy of love otherwise his mother wouldn’t have ‘attacked’ him like that.

 

That first event was repeating every six years in his life till the age of 36 where he was now. I helped him to understand that the unconscious mind will always replay and manifest whatever was programmed into it, at an earlier age. His program was one of traumatic attack with accompanying feelings of shock, humiliation and lack of worthiness. Whatever is carried and buried at a deep level will manifest again on a conscious level. Every six years a traumatic event was happening; which is the mind’s way of presenting it again in an attempt for him to deal with it and get the learning which he couldn’t get when he was six because children simply don’t have the higher brain functions to understand and process these emotional events. He was absolutely stunned when he began to see the pattern and understood that some part of all these events was his own ‘unconscious asking’ for it to repeat.

 

During a Time Line Trance process we re-imprinted all these events starting with the one when he was six years old. During the trance process he became aware that his mother was molested as a young girl and she was carrying the same emotions of shock, shame and humiliation and his actions as a 6 year old was only a trigger for her deep repressed and unfelt anger. It was a generational pattern. We could also heal her in the process even though she had passed on. I have often found that souls who died with unprocessed emotions are often trapped on a plane close to our earthly dimension and during a process like this we can also set them free.

 

Although this was a quite unique trauma healing experience it made me realise that we do create our own universe, very often unconsciously. When you are interested in learning any of these techniques or just want to read more, go to www.ernestfrostnlp.co.za

 

Till next time

Ernest


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