ernest frost
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Thoughts From My Couch
 
A wedding and a funeral
A wedding and a funeralDuring the last month I had the privilege of attending a wedding and a funeral on two different continents while visiting friends who asked me to join in. Having a more objective perspective on these rituals in this context helped me to see things I wouldn’t otherwise have noticed. And in the end life is all about the way how you see and perceive it.
More Information
 A wedding (not foursmiley) and a funeral
 
 
 
During the last month I had the privilege of attending a wedding and a funeral on two different continents while visiting friends who asked me to join in. Having a more objective perspective on these rituals in this context helped me to see things I wouldn’t otherwise have noticed. And in the end life is all about the way how you see and perceive it.
 
One of the things which really struck me was the presence of a candle during both rituals. For the funeral the candle was blown out, symbolising the end of a life and for the wedding a candle was lit; the beginning of something new. Isn’t it amazing that all the effort and hard work, the worrying and all of life’s ups and downs ........ all of this, is eventually taken away by one breath of air and it is all gone. Or like Eckhart Tolle said: Life comes to the  -  between two dates: For example: 1967- 2011. In the end your whole existence on earth is a -. Looking at it this way may help us to take ourselves a lot less seriously.
 
These rituals are also important to us. Older civilisations had many more rituals than we have today and I believe that we have lost out on a lot of meaning to our lives as we have moved away from performing these rituals. Rituals represent a time and a place for connecting to our emotional bodies; a time of feeling and sensation; of grief and sadness, anger and joy. But so often during these events the emphasis is not about connecting with our deeper emotions but rather on our physical appearance. Whether it is a wedding or a funeral, most of us spend some time in beautifying ourselves. Even the deceased is made to look as beautiful as possible for one last time. Of course we must look after our physical bodies but the amount of time and money we spend during our lifetimes in order to look after and 'perfect' our physical bodies as well as overall appearance is staggering.  Just take a moment to think of the everyday care, wash and shampoo, deodorants and Au de toilettes and all the skin care products. The list goes on and on. It is expensive to live and dying even more so.
 
We spend enormous effort and care to make sure that our physical bodies are healthy and functional right into advanced old age. Isn’t there just something incredibly futile to spend so much time and energy on the physical which ceases to exist in the end? Deepak Chopra writes in ‘The Shadow effect’: “Yet ironically, it is not the physical body but the emotional body which is immune to aging. There is no reason for the emotional body to grow old. Your emotional body can and should remain energetic, flexible and pleasing to experience.” I have worked with a multitude of clients who are so well groomed and beautiful, wrinkle free and smooth on the outside and yet so bitter and sad on the inside. The wrinkles and marks outside have just moved inwards. This inner beauty seldom comes from only popping a serotonin pill or performing religious rituals or even reading self help books. A heart full of pain and sadness can’t be ‘photoshopped’ to be clear and happy again. And we live in times where more and more, solutions are expected to be quick and immediate.   The health of your emotional body comes from the time and energy spent on rebuilding your emotional body. The question is: How do you do this?
 
It asks one to look and go deeper inside oneself and to take 100% responsibility for your own life.  To see and feel those emotions which are suppressed and often forgotten and yet still rule your life and are responsible for repeating the same emotional and behavioural patterns. I have found Neuro-linguistic programming to be one of many modalities which gave me the tools to do this. When you are interested and ready to learn these techniques challenge yourself by enlisting for a 7 day life changing course:
http://www.ernestfrostnlp.com/training.php
 
or  just book a Skype coaching session.
 
http://www.ernestfrostnlp.com/coaching.php
 
If the emotional body is the body which goes on after death, isn’t it worthwhile to invest some time and money on this aspect of yourself?
 
Till next time
 
Ernest

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